when friends turn into foes..

everyone used to have their own kind of best friends forever kind of thinging. these such relationships are made up in their teenage times and sometimes from young too. the fact that FRIENDS FOREVER sends out a loud and strong message, that they actually think they'll be forever be friends.

thats not how i see from my own perspective. learning and growing up in a school full of individualistic and conservative people is anyone's nightmare. friends are sometimes have to be dug up and bonded with. even so, thats only 1/4 of the battle won. the rest is maintaining that relationship ; friendship. in that process, many things can happen. some things happened so fast, that when you blink even for a split second, you'll find yourself losing that relationship. EVEN SO, losing a friendship isnt as pain as the ongoing gossips that circulates around your other friends about you. sometimes, its the gossip itself that gets manipulated. too manipulated up to the fact that you might have people avoiding you and possibly glare right at your face. in the end, you'll suffer mentally. This is the downside of making friends within a particular neighborhood. Growing up in Malaysia and especially in Penang seems tough for literalistic mind such as myself. not only im condemned by their actions, but the mental absence i felt within myself proves too much for me to handle.

However, there's always a silver lining within these mentally Holocaust. when we say a friend in need is a friend in deed, we intend to assume that if we do good onto these particular people, we'll be remembered. We will be remembered for the good things we had done for them and with them. We will be forever grateful because of our Samaritan attitude towards these ppl. True..up to a certain stage.

The Malaysian culture is always a debatable issue. what is Malaysian's culture? is it the race? the diversity among us all? the common things we share?
my elaboration about Malaysian culture is this ; when we do something right, we will be remembered for a period of time. But if we do something wrong, we will always be remembered through our mistakes. Talk about mistake, i've made the most terrible mistake i could've possibly made in my life and its so painful i wish i hadn't met him at all. im speaking through my experience. i have this friend of 8 years since high school. he was my senior in our working place(he resigned after i joined). now throughout our experience, we had our ups and downs as friends. we tell each other our problems, shared good ones with other friends. hell, he was like a brother to me.
in my working place, when im having difficulties, i always voice out to him, having known he is familiar with my manager's attitude(formerly his manager also). at that time he was still in Penang waiting to go to S'pore to further his studies. when he came back, we hang out together and he mentioned to me he was gonna visit his former manager for just a light coffee talk. as usual i wont suspect anything since i trust him. so a week after i resigned, i went back to my store to pay a visit to my supervisors and partners. i smiled with full of wonderful memories but only to leave with a brokened heart. My partners confronted me and told me the story that took place between him and my Manager. my heart sank like a stone. make no mistake, my partners know who i mix with since i brought my friends to the store with me.according to them, he deliberately told the story i used to be telling him to my manager and boy she dont look too happy once she heard it from him. as a result, she went Blitzkrieg on all my partners there. i felt so sad and fucking stupid at the same time. A friend whom i trusted..with my LIFE almost took it away from me. now i wont be able look at such ppl the same way ever again.

the impact he left on my mind had created a large crater of hatred that i can never cover up easily. According to Jesus, love your enemies as I have loved you. As a human being, i can never look at such person the same way ever again. Such if people dont appreciate friendship, then they shouldnt have any instead! Malaysians sometimes make me sick. the lust for currency is so powerful that even at the cost of friendship and possibly...family. and with the politics thats ever popular than Dato' Nocole David herself continues to dominate the Malaysian media headlines rather than improving the lifestyle and morality of the citizens, it seems that Malaysia's culture might be the next thing on the 'HAMPIR PUPUS' list after the Tapir.

MAY GOD HELP US ALL.